Keep your shirt on. Please.

The man himself suntans in Siberia.

You know there is nothing citizens like to complain about more than their leaders going on vacation. Oh how we hate it. We remind ourselves that this particular putz is vacationing at taxpayer expense – how dare they? We ruminate on how this particular fellow, or gal, really hasn’t done much, so what do they need a vacation for anyway? We gnash our teeth at their antics as they cavort across the country.

August is vacation month for much of the world.

Let’s have a look at three world leaders on vacation this month, Justin Trudeau, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump.

Trudeau began his vacation kayaking on the west coast and he immediately delivered joy to all of the Canadian media when he tipped his kayak and ended up in the drink. Fabulous! Conservatives immediately saved the video. In fact so many were uploaded to the cloud that the cloud objected. But when life hands you a gift like the usually suave Trudeau dumping out of a kayak, you don’t look that horse in the mouth. You save the horse for future campaign ads. Trudeau, to his credit, took the jeers and jokes fairly well and even laughed at himself.

Next up is Trump, WHO IS NOT ON VACATION! Trump is currently spending 17 days at his golf resort in New Jersey. Except he is for some reason obsessed with the fact that people might think he is on vacation, and has been constantly tweeting about how he is working. Only in New Jersey because the White House is being renovated (though it is not a dump!). Lots of meetings going on, Trump tweeted. Now, Trump maybe a little sensitive, many opine, because he was so hard on Barack Obama whenever he golfed. Trump regularly tweeted messages about Obama’s golf along the line of ‘get back to work you bum!’ So now, having proven he can also spend a lot of time on the golf course — so much so that his wheels have been dubbed Golf Cart One — the Donald is apparently a tad sensitive. So he’s not on vacation! Not! On! Vacation!

Know who is on vacation? Vladimir Putin. We know this because Russian media has been breathlessly releasing picture after picture of a bare-chested Putin engaged in manly activities. Bare-chested Putin fishing (watch those hooks). Bare-chested Putin underwater spear fishing (watch those spears). Bare-chested Putin suntanning in a boat (at least spf 50, Vlad, wouldn’t want to burn that torso you’re so proud of). And where is bare chested Putin doing all these manly endeavours? In Siberia, where real men go to vacation. Real men do not fall out of kayaks. Nor do they require Golf Cart One to move them from one spot to another on their not-vacation. Real men vacation with bare chests. In Siberia

I have no doubt bare-chested Putin bit the heads off the fish he caught and consumed them raw.

Now some say Putin released the pictures because he is gearing up for an election campaign, as the next election is March of 2018. But come on. Putin doesn’t need to strut his manly torso to win an election. In Russia, Putin wins the election. Others wonder if the manly pictures are a way for him to troll Trump, cause him a little grief after the Pres was forced to sign the Russian sanctions into law. You know, Trump needing a golf cart to get around and Putin, who is only six years younger, not needing a golf cart to get around, bare-chested.

My only real concern in this is that the leaders may try to respond to each other. Not to Trudeau. He is an insignificant mosquito in this battle of vacations. No my fear is that Trump may try to respond by going topless himself. Can’t unsee that. Not enough brain bleach in the world.