Silver Cross Mother Reine Samson Dawe walks at her home north of Kingston, Ont., on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2019. Not only did Samson Dawe’s husband serve his entire career in the Canadian Armed Forces, but her four sons all followed in his footsteps. And while she is quick to point to the many ways military life has benefited her family, there have also been hardships - including the death of her youngest son, Capt. Matthew Dawe, in Afghanistan in 2007. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick

Silver Cross Mother Reine Samson Dawe walks at her home north of Kingston, Ont., on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2019. Not only did Samson Dawe’s husband serve his entire career in the Canadian Armed Forces, but her four sons all followed in his footsteps. And while she is quick to point to the many ways military life has benefited her family, there have also been hardships - including the death of her youngest son, Capt. Matthew Dawe, in Afghanistan in 2007. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick

Remembering the sacrifices of Canada’s military families

Many military families in Canada continue to face more financial challenges than their civilian counterparts

Not only did Reine Samson Dawe’s husband serve his entire career in the Canadian Armed Forces, but her four sons all followed in his footsteps. And while she is quick to point to the many ways military life has benefited her family, there have also been hardships — including the death of her youngest son, Capt. Matthew Dawe, in Afghanistan in 2007.

Selected this year’s Silver Cross Mother by the Royal Canadian Legion, Samson Dawe will lay a wreath at the base of the National War Memorial during Monday’s Remembrance Day ceremonies on behalf of all mothers who have lost children as a result of military service to Canada.

In an interview from her home in Kingston, Ont., Samson Dawe acknowledged the challenges that come with being part of a military family. Those include frequent relocations, often to relatively isolated communities, as well as the separation that comes with training and deployments and the threat of a loved one being injured or killed in the line of duty.

Samson Dawe, who met her husband while interning at a military hospital in Halifax after studying physiotherapy in Montreal, recalls the night in 2002 when four Canadian soldiers were killed by a U.S. warplane in Afghanistan. Her two oldest sons, Peter and Philip, were serving in the country at the time and she barely slept a wink while waiting for news.

“When Pete called and the first thing he said was ‘Mom, we’re OK,’ I couldn’t speak,” she said. “I cried my eyes out. At that point, there was no restraint or anything. I was so relieved. But those are moments that are extremely difficult, obviously.”

Five years later, however, Matthew Dawe was killed by an improvised explosive device along with five of his fellow Canadian soldiers and an Afghan interpreter. The 27-year-old died the same day his son, Lucas, turned two.

Even now, Samson Dawe has difficulty relating how the tragedy affected her and her family. But she credits her son’s death with having brought the family closer together as they struggled to cope with its aftermath, which included supporting Lucas. And despite losing her son, she prefers to see the positives of her unexpected life as the wife and mother of Forces members.

“We were young and I always thought it was a bit of a challenge to move at times, but it was also an adventure and I enjoyed going to new places and meeting new people,” Samson Dawe said, adding it also helped build resiliency in her and her sons.

ALSO READ: Online backlash against Don Cherry for comments on immigrants and Remembrance Day

The federal government did not historically give much thought to military families for most of the last century, said Canadian War Museum historian Tim Cook.

“The care of the families was not primarily the task of (the Department of National Defence) and others,” Cook said. “It was to win the war. And I think what we found, certainly in the second half of the 20th century, was that we were doing a poor job in helping families deal with grief and loss and re-integrating veterans back.”

It was only after the Cold War, when Canadian military personnel deployed on a variety of different missions, most of them peacekeeping, there was “a renewed affirmation of the relationship between stable, functioning military families and an effective, sustainable fighting force,” the Canadian Armed Forces ombudsman wrote in 2013.

“Consequently, support to families has been elevated to a top institutional priority for much of the post-2000 period.”

The Canadian Armed Forces now maintains a network of 32 Military Family Resource Centres on bases across the country, which serve as a one-stop shop for families who are moving to new areas or dealing with the stresses of separation and loss.

A covenant was also released in 2008 promising military families would not be put at a disadvantage because a loved one is serving in uniform; the government’s defence policy, released in June 2017, also committed to additional funds and support for families.

“You don’t really know the lifestyle until you’ve lived it,” said Taylor Galloway, family engagement services manager at the MFRC in Ottawa, who works closely with military families in the national capital region.

“It really, truly is a choice to sacrifice that much of your life and that much of your family’s life to serve a country. So I just think of that bravery and that complete strength that that really entails from a member’s perspective, but also from a family’s perspective and from children’s perspective.”

The Vanier Institute of the Family released a study last week that found many military families in Canada continue to face more financial challenges than their civilian counterparts, including additional costs associated with relocations and deployments and husbands and wives having to sacrifice careers for a military spouse.

Many military families also have difficulty accessing health care, according to an article published in the Canadian Family Physician journal in January. The article noted that while Forces members are treated through the military health-care system, “their families must repeatedly navigate multiple civilian provincial and territorial health systems.”

And while only a fraction of military families are affected by service-related injuries or illnesses, an August 2018 report by the Canadian Forces Morale and Welfare Services group, which is responsible for their well-being, found the impacts can be severe.

Overall, the CFMWS report found roughly 10 per cent of military families were struggling. And while one-third of military families felt they were well supported, “one-third did not think so and one-third were neutral.” The report added that overall family participation in offered programs and services was low, though those who did participate felt the services were beneficial.

For her part, Samson Dawe encouraged military families to access the support and services that has been made available to help. And while she didn’t want to diminish the support shown her family after Matthew’s death, she urged Canadians across the country to spare a thought for military families on Remembrance Day — and every other day of the year as well.

“I would like Canadians to demonstrate their support to the military families,” she said. “The last thing that the families want, and I think that goes for soldiers in general, they don’t want pity. They deserve a whole lot more than that.”

READ MORE: More Canadians plan to attend Remembrance Day ceremonies this year: poll

Lee Berthiaume, The Canadian Press


Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

COVID-19. (Image courtesy CDC)
Interior Health reports 70 new cases overnight

The total number of cases in the region is now at 1,426

RCR’s snow making is one of the bulk water users in Kimberley. Matt Mosteller file
Kimberley bulk water rates to rise 20 per cent if bylaw adopted

Bylaw given first three readings this week

David Moskowitz file
Wildsight to present webinar on Inland Temperate Rainforest

Join Wildsight next Tuesday, December 1, 2020 for a free webinar on… Continue reading

Carmen Hintz (right) donates $500 to Heather Smith (left) at the Kimberley Food Bank, leftover cash after fundraising to rescue four kittens. Paul Rodgers photo.
Local’s extra kitten fundraiser money donated to Kimberley Food Bank

Carmen Hintz donates $500, after raising money to support rescued cats

Ryder and Cohen of Kimberley Minor Hockey can play on with new mandates from the Provincial Health Officer. Photo submitted.
Kimberley Minor Hockey president hopes to see curve flatten for a return to hockey

New COVID-19 orders put in place by the government last week stated… Continue reading

A man wearing a face mask to help curb the spread of COVID-19 walks in downtown Vancouver, B.C., Sunday, Nov. 22, 2020. The use of masks is mandatory in indoor public and retail spaces in the province. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
B.C. records deadliest day of pandemic with 13 deaths, 738 new COVID-19 cases

Number of people in hospital is nearing 300, while total cases near 30,000

(File photo)
Alberta woman charged after allegedly hitting boy with watermelon at Okanagan campsite

Police say a disagreement among friends at an Adams Lake campsite turned ugly

Court of Appeal for British Columbia in Vancouver. (File photo: Tom Zytaruk)
B.C. woman loses appeal to have second child by using late husband’s sperm

Assisted Human Reproduction Act prohibits the removal of human reproductive material from a donor without consent

Krista Macinnis displays the homework assignment that her Grade 6 daughter received on Tuesday. (Submitted photo)
B.C. mom angry that students asked to list positive stories about residential schools

Daughter’s Grade 6 class asked to write down 5 positive stories or facts

B.C. projects targeting the restoration of sockeye salmon stocks in the Fraser and Columbia Watersheds will share in $10.9 million of federal funding to protect species at risk. (Kenny Regan photo)
13 projects protecting B.C. aquatic species at risk receive $11 million in federal funding

Salmon and marine mammals expected to benefit from ecosystem-based approach

Join Black Press Media and Do Some Good
Join Black Press Media and Do Some Good

Pay it Forward program supports local businesses in their community giving

Barrels pictured outside Oliver winery, Quinta Ferreira, in May. (Phil McLachlan - Black Press Media)
B.C. Master of Wine reflects on industry’s teetering economic state

Pandemic, for some wine makers, has been a blessing in disguise. For others, not so much.

An employee of the Adventure Hotel was taken to hospital on Nov. 20 after she confronted a customer of Empire Coffee about not wearing a mask. File photo.
Nelson hotel employee suffers heart attack after being assaulted in anti-mask incident

An accountant at the Adventure Hotel is in hospital in Kelowna

Most Read