The YouTube presentation of the space hotel. YouTube screen capture.

The YouTube presentation of the space hotel. YouTube screen capture.

Book me a room at the space hotel

Would you stay in a space hotel?

It’s a thing apparently. Orbital Assembly — which is a pretty on the nose name for a space construction company — has announced that they will hopefully begin construction on the first space hotel by 2026.

Orbital Assembly’s John Blincow told the US media that he believes it would only take a year or two to assemble Voyager Station, a commercial space station that will house the hotel.

Now going to the space hotel is not quite as easy as rolling up to the Econo Lodge. First of all, guests will have to take some safety and physical training. And they won’t be arriving in the family station wagon. You will access the space hotel by using the SpaceX Starship shuttle. The SpaceX shuttle is owned by Elon Musk, who is in a billionaire race with Jeff Bezos, who is also promoting a space craft and he says his has bigger windows. So there. Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactica is also in the commercial space race.

Also, you might want to book alternate transportation as the SpaceX prototype has not actually managed to land without burting in flames and exploding.

READ: VIDEO: SpaceX Starship lands upright, then explodes in latest test

But back to the hotel.

A three and a half day stay at the space hotel costs $5 million, and I don’t know if airfare is included. So you’re not going to take the fam there for March break.

But if you’ve got the coin, be prepared for an out of this world experience.

You’re going to be eating well. Among the crew in the space hotel who will serve the 280 guests, are world-renowned chefs.

“It’s a historic moment,” Blincow told the Washington Post. “You’re going to have the top chefs making really, really good food. And when you pay $5 million to go someplace, it’s not going to be burgers and fries.”

So space food has come a long way from when Soviet cosmonaut Yuri A. Gagarin made history as the first human in space aboard his Vostok capsule in 1961. During his single orbit around the Earth, he also became the first person to eat in space, squeezing beef and liver paste from an aluminum tube into his mouth. Yummy.

Space hotel guests will not be eating that.

And it won’t be freeze dried foods that fed astronauts for many years. The space hotel will have actual electric and fire-free kitchens.

There will also be artificial gravity so you won’t be floating around as astronauts do on the space station. Guests will be able to eat, sleep, shower and use the bathroom normally.

However, artificial gravity is not the real thing, so when you jump in the air, you will jump five times higher.

That should hopefully keep you amused because really, what are you going to do at a space hotel, aside from gaze in wonder at the world below you? It’s not like you can hang out pool side. I mean you could briefly, but you’d probably float away into the universe along with the water. You could go for a hike, but you may not return.

I kid. There will also be actual space walks offered, the mere thought of which makes me shudder.

Blincow also seems to think he can entice artists like Sting and Beyoncé to come up for a space gig.

Does this sound like a vacation you would like? If it does, perhaps you should speak to the travel company Roman & Erica. They cater exclusively to ultra wealthy clients. They are so exclusive that their website has absolutely no information. Just a fancy logo that will make you feel poorer than you are just by looking at it. Apparently to be a client of Roman & Erica you must pay annual membership fees ranging from $52,500 to $180,000. Presumably for that price, you get to see the rest of the website.

They would be happy to book you a trip to the space hotel.

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