I’ve been away for a while. Did I miss anything?
I kid. I’ve been catching up and did notice a few things happened in the political world in the last month.
Things like no one stepping up to Ottawa’s Used Pipeline Lot and taking the old Trans Mountain Line out for a test drive.
“Come on down to Honest Justin’s Used Pipeline Emporium and get in on the deal of the century! The Trans Mountain Pipeline, guaranteed not to chip, crack, fade or deteriorate or your money cheerfully refunded!
“She’s a good pipeline, only driven by Green MPs on their way to a protest.”
Despite the fine sales tactics, no buyer stepped up so we, you and I, own a pipeline.
The deadline to find a buyer was July 22. The feds had been working with Kinder Morgan to find one, but none came forward, despite the somewhat rosy optimism exhibited by Finance Minister Bill Morneau earlier this spring. He was sure (Sure!) that buyers would be lining up at the lot.
So the government must keep their promise to buy it. Keep in mind that the $4.5 billion purchase price only includes the existing line, the pumping stations and rights of way and the terminal in Burnaby. It does not include the cost of constructing the expansion line or the labour to do so.
Along with those costs come protesters, uncertain First Nations people, squabbling provincial leaders and more court challenges.
Sounds like a sweet deal doesn’t it?
The government is still accepting offers. On Approved Credit, of course.
They also say that they have no intention of being the long term owners. Lease versus buy outright. Always a dilemma.
So that was big news.
Other news includes an announcement of a new reality show this fall. It’s called The Bear’s Apprentice. You’ll want to set your PVRs for this exciting story of a puppet stooge being controlled by a rather large bear. The previews have been thrilling.
They include the stooge denouncing his own country’s intelligence agencies because the Dictator Bear would not lie about spying and election interference. He’s a sincere bear. A teddy bear, really.
They include the stooge walking that back, then taking back the walk back, then kind of walking it back again, and then taking back the kind of taking it back again.
Also, the stooge and bear met privately and no one is saying what was said in the meeting. Although the bear has been dropping hints about “agreements” arrived at, with no details at all. Exciting!
In an upcoming episode, the stooge has invited the bear to his own house. It’s white. Will the bear say yes? That’s going to be a great episode.
The stooge is also busy fixing his country’s economy by sending a $12 billion bail-out to farmers because some stooge (was it the same stooge? I believe it was) provoked a trade war with every country the stooge could think of.
In the meantime, the stooge is crafting an enemies list of those who criticize him. Because that doesn’t show dictator tendencies at all.
Previews also show the stooge threatening war with another country. IN ALL CAPS SO YOU KNOW HE MEANS IT!
The stooge is unpredictable! He’s whacky! We expect ratings for The Bear’s Apprentice to be yoooge. Almost nuclear.
Apparently they have a lot of it on tape already.