Hey Grams, can I borrow your castle?

So I understand there’s a big wedding coming up.

The royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry is set for May 19.

And media world-wide is going to make sure we don’t miss a thing about it. Take the Victoria Times Colonist for example. The TC feels that we are so interested in the royal wedding that they have created a heading for it on their website. Really. The list goes thusly:

News, Opinion, Business, Sports, Entertainment, Life, Islander, Travel, Homes, Royal Wedding, Driving etc.

I mean couldn’t it be under Life? Entertainment? No, it gets it’s own heading. That struck me as odd, despite the fondness many in Victoria may hold for the family of its namesake.

Under the heading are the latest stories that the worldwide press has managed to dig up on the royal soon-to-be-newlyweds. It’s full of useful etiquette tips for the lucky 600 who will attend, such as the length of hems considered acceptable. No bare shoulders. No black or white dresses. Did you know that the British royal family are responsible for the white wedding dress tradition? The first white wedding gown was worn by Queen Victoria.

Small prints but none that are big and blocky. Hats yes, but not too large. “It’s not the Kentucky Derby”, sniffs the fashion expert who was consulted by the newspaper.

The wedding will be held in St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle at high noon. The couple needed the Queen’s permission to hold it there, but then the Queen is Grandma. What Grandma would ever deny her grandson a simple request like, “Hey Grams, can I borrow your castle? It’s only a few close friends. We’ll clean up.”

The Queen consented. Her exact words were:

“My Lords, I declare My Consent to a Contract of Matrimony between My Most Dearly Beloved Grandson Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales and Rachel Meghan Markle, which Consent I am causing to be signified under the Great Seal and to be entered in the Books of the Privy Council.”

Which is exactly what my grandma said when I told her I was getting married.

Incidentally, when the Queen approved Prince William’s marriage to Kate Middleton, the bride was referred to as “Our Trusty and Well Beloved Catherine Elizabeth Middleton”.

Does Grandma have a favourite? Cause for a little issue between the sisters in law?

Now, I’m assuming my invitation was lost in the mail, but who will be attending? Because Harry has been pushed far down the succession list by his adorable-progeny-producing brother — he is now only sixth in line — he is not obliged to invite diplomats and political figures. Justin Trudeau was not invited, nor was Donald Trump. But there will be celebs aplenty according to British Vogue. Elton John, Ed Sheeran, Cara Delevingne, David and Victoria Beckham, and Serena Williams are all slated to attend.

The only one on that list I had to google was Cara Delevingne, so I’m pretty proud of myself. Ms Delevinge, I have since learned, is a British actress and model, mostly model, so good on her for scoring an invite.

The dress is the subject of great speculation. “I would love to see her in something brave and daring on her wedding day: a Victorian Erdem number with cascading ruffles, a magical John Galliano for Maison Margiela gown with mad embroidery, or a dramatic Giles Deacon haute couture dress with that air of British majesty!” gushed Vogue fashion critic Anders Christian Madsen.

Imagine spending your days pondering the bravery of wearing a gown with cascading ruffles. Dude probably makes big coin as a Vogue fashion consultant too.

In any event, being selected as the gown’s designer could make a career.

Baking the royal wedding cake will be Calire Ptak of Violet Bakery in London. It is rumoured to be an elderberry, lemon concoction, which sounds… interesting. In a floral way, I mean.

After the marriage, Meghan Markle will become Her Royal Highness, Princess Henry of Wales. She will also become the Duchess of Sussex, as the Queen is expected to make Harry the Duke of Sussex. Thanks, Grams! For the castle and the title!

Any other royal wedding information is readily available for those interested. Just check any newspaper online under the royal wedding tab.

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