Just a couple of educational tools

So the “History” Channel — I used quotation marks because the History Channel is veering pretty far away from history these days — has a new show this fall called Kings of Pain. I have not watched but I have seen the commercials, which make me cringe.

And I have a question for the History Channel. Who thought this was a good idea?

The premise of the show is simple. Two guys, biologist Adam Thorne and professional animal handler Rob “Caveman” Alleva, allow themselves to be bitten by all kinds of gross creepy crawly, slithering nightmares, just to see what happens. For instance, in one episode, Thorne (we’ll call him Dummy Number One) allows himself to be bitten by a reticulated python.

Other animals planning to share their venom this season are the Nile monitor lizard, executioner wasp, fire urchin, rove beetle, lionfish, scorpion fish, bullet ant, piranha, tarantula hawk and giant Asian centipede.

History Channel says the goal of the show is to create a comprehensive index of pain that could help save lives. I say to the History Channel, sure, that’s your motive. There is nothing sensational about your interest, at all. It’s just pure science. The bleeding and screaming in pain are just a happy side effect. And your cameras are already there, so why not film it?

You see, the two men, Dummy Number One and Dummy Number Two, say that they are creating a comprehensive pain index. The index will be an educational tool, showcasing which creatures humans should avoid, and what to do in the event they get bitten.

There are definitely at least two educational tools involved in this show.

I do not need to carry around a Comprehensive Pain Index to tell me I should avoid creatures like reticulated pythons, tarantula hawks and giant Asian centipedes.

I feel any sensible person would run in the opposite direction if one of those beasts was spotted.

However, I do not believe common sense to be a stand out characteristic of Dummies Number One and Two.

But, if they are looking for someone to join them on their quest, perhaps they should consider contacting Dylan McWilliams.

According to Outside Magazine, young Dylan has survived a rattlesnake bite, a bear attack, and a shark bite, all within three years.

He was hiking with buddies in Utah, and decided to switch from his hot hiking boots to sandals. He also helpfully (for the rattlesnake) rolled up his pants. A few minutes later… snake bite! His buddies were unharmed.

The next summer, Dylan was, somewhat ironically, teaching wilderness survival skills in Colorado. He and five co-workers decided to sleep out under the stars. He was woken up by a black bear chewing on his head! The bear tried to drag him away but he got free. Again, his buddies were fine.

The following April, Dylan decided to go surfing in Hawaii. He was paddling his surfboard out when he felt a bump and a sharp pain in his calf. Shark bite! Naturally, other surfers in the water were unharmed.

Despite these three close encounters, Dylan considers himself lucky and says he will never stop doing what he loves most, being outside.

Kings of Pain, he’s your man. He is obviously no stranger to wildlife encounters, and perhaps may be one of the few on the planet who might find a comprehensive pain index useful. If not, perhaps they can use him as a test subject. Because if you put the three of them together, it seems pretty much guaranteed that young Dylan will be the one taking the bite.

And you can never have too many educational tools.

Just Posted

A tent housing a mobile vaccination clinic. (Interior Health/Contributed)
Over 5K jabbed at Interior Health mobile COVID-19 vaccine clinics

The clinics have made stops in more than 40 communities since launching last week

Kimberley residents were treated to the first Farmers' Market of the season, and the feeling of a return to normalcy. Paul Rodgers photos.
WATCH: Kimberley’s first Farmers’ Market of the season

Kimberley residents enjoyed the first Farmers’ Market of the year on Thursday,… Continue reading

Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry talks about B.C.’s plan to restart the province during a press conference at Legislature in Victoria, Tuesday, May 25, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
Interior Health COVID-19 cases falling slower than the rest of B.C.

More than a third of provincial cases announced Thursday came from the Interior

Students at Creston Valley Secondary School put together an art installation of a replica residential school room. (Photo by Kelsey Yates)
Creston students create art installation of residential school room

The replica was decorated with a small bed, school uniform, and notes written with pleas for help

Marco Mendicino, Minister of Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship during a press conference in Ottawa on Thursday, May 13, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Canada to welcome 45,000 refugees this year, says immigration minister

Canada plans to increase persons admitted from 23,500 to 45,000 and expedite permanent residency applications

FILE – Most lanes remain closed at the Peace Arch border crossing into the U.S. from Canada, where the shared border has been closed for nonessential travel in an effort to prevent the spread of the coronavirus, Thursday, May 7, 2020, in Blaine, Wash. The restrictions at the border took effect March 21, while allowing trade and other travel deemed essential to continue. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)
Feds to issue update on border measures for fully vaccinated Canadians, permanent residents

Border with U.S. to remain closed to most until at least July 21

A portion of the George Road wildfire burns near Lytton, B.C. in this Friday, June 18, 2021 handout photo. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO, BC Wildfire Service *MANDATORY CREDIT*
Blaze near Lytton spread across steep terrain, says BC Wildfire Service

Fire began Wednesday and is suspected to be human-caused, but remains under investigation

Blair Lebsack, owner of RGE RD restaurant, poses for a portrait in the dining room, in Edmonton, Friday, June 18, 2021. Canadian restaurants are having to find ways to deal with the rising cost of food. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jason Franson
Canadian restaurateurs grapple with rising food costs, menu prices expected to rise

Restaurants are a low margin industry, so there’s not a lot of room to work in additional costs

RCMP crest. (Black Press Media files)
Fort St. John man arrested after allegedly inviting sexual touching from children

Two children reported the incident to a trusted adult right away

Join Black Press Media and Do Some Good
Join Black Press Media and Do Some Good

Pay it Forward program supports local businesses in their community giving

Barbara Violo, pharmacist and owner of The Junction Chemist Pharmacy, draws up a dose behind vials of both Pfizer-BioNTech and Oxford-AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccines on the counter, in Toronto, Friday, June 18, 2021. An independent vaccine tracker website founded by a University of Saskatchewan student says just over 20 per cent of eligible Canadians — those 12 years old and above — are now fully vaccinated. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Nathan Denette
At least 20% of eligible Canadians fully vaccinated, 75% with one dose: data

Earlier projections for reopening at this milestone didn’t include Delta variant

This undated file photo provided by Ernie Carswell & Partners shows the home featured in the opening and closing scenes of The Brady Bunch in Los Angeles. Do you know the occupation of Mike Brady, the father in this show about a blended family? (Anthony Barcelo/Ernie Carswell & Partners via AP, File)
QUIZ: A celebration of dad on Father’s Day

How much do you know about famous fathers?

Emily Steele holds up a collage of her son, 16-year-old Elijah-Iain Beauregard who was stabbed and killed in June 2019, outside of Kelowna Law Courts on June 18. (Aaron Hemens/Capital News)
Kelowna woman who fatally stabbed teen facing up to 1.5 years of jail time

Her jail sentence would be followed by an additional one to 1.5 years of supervision

Most Read