Let’s talk Power Slap, friends. Have you all heard of Power Slap? It sounds exciting doesn’t it? Is it like an energy drink that slaps you with a boost of git up and go? Is it a battery charger that recharges your devices in seconds?
No, no it’s not. It’s a “sport”. A “sport” where one contestant slaps the other, and then… No, that’s it.
According to the oracle, Power Slap fights are typically three to five rounds. The fighters take turns hitting each other in the face with an open hand, and those on the receiving end stand with their hands behind their backs.
They take turns hitting each other with an open hand. That’s the “sport”. Insert googly eyes emoji.
In a Power Slap match, opponents are scored based on the amount of damage they inflict and how well they absorb slaps. Each match is broken into up to ten rounds, with competitors delivering and receiving one slap per round.
And you have 30 seconds to deliver the slap and that’s where tactics could come in. Do you slap right at the buzzer? Could be a surprise and the slap absorption might be underwhelming. Or do you wait, make you opponent anticipate the coming slap? Make him sweat.
And I guess it’s kind of like judging figure skating, although I’m not entirely certain if there are points given out for artistic merit.
Power Slap Announcer: “Not one flinch. His face rippled from the slap but he didn’t move! That’s the most impressive, and beautiful, Slap Receiving I’ve ever seen.”
Are the slap movements analyzed like golf swings?
Power Slap Announcer: “Look at his stance. Balanced perfectly over the balls of his feet. And the back swing. That’s where the power comes from, that perfect back swing.”
And how do you judge the best amount of damage? Is one of the judges a doctor? Or is it all visual, such as amount of swelling and bleeding?
These are questions I will never have answered, as the U.S. network that carried the Power Slap League, TBS, announced last week that it would no longer carry it. Not because no responsible network would ever carry a show so banal, that all it consisted of was a guy standing there letting someone slap him. No, it’s all about ratings and there just weren’t enough people watching to please TBS.
The man behind the Power Slap experience is Ultimate Fighting Championship president Dana White.
He’s real high on the slapping game being the next big thing, and announced that while it would no longer be carried on cable TV, the kids don’t watch that anyway. He’s moving it to some app named Rumble.
You have to ask yourself, what would make an “athlete” allow himself (or herself, there are female Power Slappers as well) to be hit in the face without fighting back, risking concussion?
Apparently, it’s not the money, as most contestants will only get about $2000 per match. You might get another $2,000 if you win.
So it’s not the money. But maybe it’s the hope of fame and fortune. After all, when the UFC was introduced in 1993, mixed martial arts were hardly a thing. Boxing ruled. But look at the money and fame champion UFC fighters earn now.
So are these men and women just risking their future cognitive abilities on the chance of fame? Seems likely that’s the answer. I don’t know.
I do know one thing. Even with what TBS considered poor ratings, there were still some 350,000 people who watched an episode of Power Slap this winter. 350,000 people found it interesting to watch some poor schmuck getting slapped, and then returning the favour to some other poor schmuck.
If that’s not an indication of the devolution of modern society, I don’t know what is.